· You know you're from Utah when....· Green jell-o with carrots mixed in doesn't seem strange. · You can pronounce Tooele. · The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y. · You have actually eaten funeral potatoes. · You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month. · You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot". · Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom. · Hunting season is a school holiday. · The largest liquor store is the state government. · You can go skiing and play golf on the same day. · 30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable. · Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist. · You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'. · The elevation exceeds the population · You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you · You can see the stars at night · You have a bumper sticker that says "Families are Forever." · You were an aunt or uncle before you were three. · Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding. · You have more children than you can find biblical names for. · Your family considers a trip to McDonald's a night out.· Your first child was conceived on your honeymoon. · You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football. · Your kids believe the deer hunt is a national holiday. · You drink Coke from a brown paper bag. · You consider a temple recommend a credit reference. · At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors. · You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant. · You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35 mph in the left lane on the freeway. · There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots. · You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer. · You negotiate prices at a garage sale. · You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe. · You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting. · You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times. · Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal. · A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election. · Cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest; cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit. · Sandals are the best-selling shoes. · You have to ask for the uncensored version of "Titanic."· Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon. · You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore. · You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school. · You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth. · You're on your own if you are turning left. · Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season.· People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees. · There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing. · The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift. · People drive to Idaho (or Arizona) to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery. · In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl. · Beer drinkers don't shop on Sunday. · You don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside a building. · The cost of living rises while your salary drops. · Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck. · When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but gun and ski racks are standard.· Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.· Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction. · "Temple recommends" is acceptable identification for cashing a check. · More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood. · You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door. · Your neighbors complain about where they live, yet refuse to return to the state they moved from. · You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception. · You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries. · Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall. · Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie. · You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen. · You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.· You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment. · You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Utah.